Wednesday, July 2 2014

Technical Support

- Danon support, this is Chris, how can I help you?

Yes. Good morning to you Chris, I wonder if you can help me. I bought a Danon printer model Blah, and I am trying to connect it to the wireless network, but it does not appear to be working right… When I installed the CD on my computer I get an error message saying that it cannot find the printer.

- I see Sir. Have you contacted us before?

No

- Ok, let me just quickly take a few details from you in order to register this call.

OK

- Bare with me Sir, my system is kind of slow today…

OK, that’s fine…

- Your last name Sir?

Salisbury

- Can you spell that out for me please?

Yes. Its Sierra Alfa Lima Indigo Sierra Bravo Uniform Romeo Yankee.

- OK Sir, and your first name?

John

- And your E-mail address?

It’s John… DOT Salisbury… Four Five… AT… blue networks DOT co DOT uk.

- OK, Thank you. What kind of operating system are you using?

Pac

- And the version?

I don’t know… How do you see the version…

- On the top left corner there is a symbol of an orange. Click on it, then select About this Pac, and bellow the orange it says version…?...

A yes! It says Ten point Eight.

- Thank you. OK Sir I want you to go to the printer. On the printer there is an LCD screen, I want you to select Setup, then select Device settings, in it select LAN Settings, and then select Restore Factory Settings.

OK, hang on… Setup… You will have to be patient with me. I am Eighty Seven years old you see…

- That’s OK Sir, Take your time.

I selected the Setup, do I need to press OK?

- Yes Sir press the OK button. Then select Device Settings, then select LAN Settings…

Wait Wait! Device Settings you said?... Ah OK I see. OK I selected Device Settings, what did you say was next?

- LAN Settings…

OK, I selected LAN Settings…

- Good, and now select Restore Factory Settings.

OK… Are you sure that you…

- Select Yes.

Yes… It says please wait.

- OK

What now?

- Please wait Sir let the printer finish it’s thinking…

A OK yes I can see it still says Please wait on the screen and there are these little circles that like count the time…

- Indeed it does.

OK it went back to the menu. What do I do next?

- I want you to go into the Setup again, Device Settings, LAN Settings…

Wait!... Setup…………………..Device Settings you sayd?

- Yes. Device Settings…

OK. And now LAN Settings right?

- Exactly. Now select Setup Access Point.

Do I press OK?

- Yes Sir, press OK.

OK. Its searching…. Now I got my Flexgear showing on the list, do I select it?

- Yes

OK. It asks me to type in the password.

- That is right, I want you to type in your router’s password.

Well how do I know my password? Is it something I need to get from you guys?

- No. It should be on the back of your router, or given to you by your network provider.

By Gosh… OK let me check, hold on for a moment I will be right back.

- OK no problem…

……………..

OK I looked and I got a sticker on the back that says Name Flexgear and Double-u Pee Ai Key, Which one of them do I need to type in?

- The one that says WPA Key. Please make sure to put an emphasis on upper case, lower case and numbers exactly as it’s written on the sticker.

OK. Ai…Five…Cee…

- Don’t read the key out loud to me, or anybody else for that matter.

OK, sorry….mmm…….mmm…….yeah……OK I typed it all in what do I do now, do I press OK?

- Yes

It says Connected.

- OK that’s good. Now go back to your computer, open the browser and type in XXXXX.

OK I got this page that says XXXXX.

- Yes. Scroll down and press Install.

Why doesn’t it tell you to do so in the manual?!!

- Its considered to be common knowledge

OK I’ve pressed Install… What now?

- Wait. Let the installation process finish…

Ah OK, sorry… …. …. OK it says Congratulations on your new XXXXX printer…

- OK. Now try to print something.

OK… …………….. Oh my, it’s printing.

- That is good to hear Sir.

Wow, thank you very much, you have been really helpful.

- It’s OK. Is there anything else that I can help you with?

No, there is nothing else. It seems to be all working fine now.

- OK Sir. In that case I have one more question, at the beginning of the call did you choose to participate in our survey?

Yes

- OK. Please stay on the line and I will transfer you. Thank you and have a lovely day. Bye.

Thank-…

- Danon support, this is Chris, how can I help you?

Saturday, April 12 2014

War Flashbacks

Darkness is all around me, just like in my dreams. I look to my left, I see Jim. He has the same cold look he always has. My heart is beating steady and I keep myself alert. The radio opens up:

“Bravo one contacts on your nine!”

I see them; they are running on the road. I signal to Jim, he takes a position. I hear two clicks, contacts are down. We continue moving up the hill; I can feel my blood rushing, my heart beats steady. We see the compound in-front of us, and the radio calls:

“Alpha team is in position, moving in!”

“Bravo one contacts heading towards you!”

This is it, it is happening now. This is the moment we trained for. Endless nights of repeating the same routines over and over, again and again, all lead to this. All those times I was away from my family, my wife, my children, this is what it was all for.

We quickly move towards the compound, Jim covers the road and I flank the building. Hostile emerges, I take a shot, hostile down. I take cover position, Jim moves forward. After all of this is over we will probably go out for a drink like always, me and Jim, best buds, brothers in arms. I hear Alpha one calling:

“Tango is down, all teams retreat to LZ!”

Hostiles are surrounding us; I provide cover fire while Jim pulls back from his position. I see Alpha team moving up the hill, we can’t pull back. The heart starts to beat faster; I am almost out of ammo. I see more and more hostiles moving forward; I call to Jim signaling him to pull back, but he signals that he can’t. I hear a shriek whistle and it all explodes around me. I call on the radio: “Bravo team is down! Jim is down we need backup now!” But the radio is silent.

I lay on the ground, I see them coming towards us, I yell to Jim but he is no longer there. He has faded. I make a last call on the radio:

“Bravo team is down!”

“Jim is dead!”

“They are coming for us!”

“I Repeat hostiles are surrounding us we need back up!”

“Nooooooooooooo…………………………….”


***

Honey, Honey wake up, wake up baby wake up!

What, what happened?

You were screaming in your sleep. Did you have a flash back again?

I guess… I can’t go on living like this any longer. This is not fair to you, to the kids. I have these nightmares all the time and I wake you up. I can’t live like this anymore.

Oh baby. I am always here for you, you know that. I will never leave you! I love you honey.

I love you too, you are the best. I promise from now on I will lay off the PlayStation before we go to sleep.